I Hate My Body

I know thats a terrible title, but I need to be honest. In college I gained about 40 pounds. I am now trying really hard to lose all of that weight, but am failing miserably. I feel like as soon as I start to make some progress something goes wrong and I fail again. I eat healthy and usually pay attention to my portion sizes. I workout a few times a week. I know being at home all day does not help, but until I find a job I don't know how to change this.

This post is my way of saying screw you body and brain I am going to succeed. I am posting a picture of what I want to look like and what I look like now. I was given an ultimatum by the husband to lose 10 lbs by May or I have to go to see a doctor. Well what he doesn't know is that I am due for my annual check-up in May anyways.

So here is to success.

Me and The Husband at his parents in 2006

Me and my Dad at my wedding 2010

Bliss

To be nobody -- but yourself -- in a world
which is doing its best night and day
to make you everybody else -- means to fight
the hardest battle which any human being
can fight and never stop fighting.

--e.e. cummings

I have been reading BlissChick's blog and learning a lot. One of the posts that struck me the most was about the internal opera. This is all those internal voices telling you what you can't do. After reading about all the internal voices I realized that I need to learn to kick these voices in the rear to succed at my goal. So that is what I am going to do. It will be hard, but a very rewarding journey.

I will nurture my connection with my personal practice
I will allow myself much Grace
I will rejoice in my small steps on my Journey

A Sunny Fall Day

 J and I spent an afternoon playing disc golf. I'm not very good, actually I am horrible, but this time I tried to work on throwing the disc right. Hopefully we will be able to go play again so that I can practice some more.

Garden Blooming

I was looking at my jalapeños plant this morning and saw an actual jalapeños. I have been watering this plant all summer and haven't seen anything, but leafs growing. It seems weird that it is almost November and we are just getting jalapeños.

We have had a slow steady stream of tomatoes growing all summer, but now that fall is here they are growing like crazy. There are cherry tomatoes growing every where and at least 5 big house tomatoes. 

Has your garden ever started growing like crazy at the end of the summer?

Balcony Garden

I can't wait for my jalapenos to grow. I pretty much killed all of herbs. Not sure if the cilantro, my favorite, will come back.

MMMMM cherry tomatoes. The first thing we got to eat from the garden (besides the herbs, but they don't count).

My poor onions were drowned. Sad face. I was really looking forward to them.
My rose bush that is making an amazing come back. Maybe next year it will flower.
Tomatoes how I love you so much. Yummy in my tummy.

August Goals

• Bike to work and everywhere possible. I biked to work almost every day, but was usually too lazy to bike anywhere else.

• Continue my hunt for a job. My internship ends August 26th and I would like to have a job to start right after the wedding. This whole starting a marriage with only one of us working scares the crap out of me. House wife anyone? I wouldn’t mind staying home and running the house, but I would like to bring in some money to help pay the bills. Especially my student loans.

• Read two books. The Commitment by Dan Savage (if I can find it) and Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert.

• Write at least one blog post a week.

• Finish planning the wedding. I would like to have very little to do come September.

The garden is producing some produce. We have had a few cherry tomatoes and one big one. The big one was cracked so I don’t know if we will be able to eat it. The jalapenos still haven’t done anything and the onions drowned. Maybe we will get some more onions planted soon. I have some pictures of the garden that I will post hopefully tomorrow.